Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
