Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
