My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
