haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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