I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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