maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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