omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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