I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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