Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
