but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
