I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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