i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
