naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
