HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
