I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So vagazzling was a success
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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