OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
one might say we're banned from that church
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
