If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
