Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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