I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why do cheetos always look like penises
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
