You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
