his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize