Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
