He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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