i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
