dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
