I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
