we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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