Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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