After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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