gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I enjoy the company of your penis
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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