I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found puke in my bra..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize