is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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