I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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