Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
