then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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