I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
