if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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