I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
