Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
