I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
