Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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