Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize