The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is my gift to your gina
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
