Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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