when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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