My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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