dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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