and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
