We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
