We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you win again, gameday.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
