Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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