so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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