and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
