At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
