Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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