And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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