My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
