..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
