Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want to make a zoo with you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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