just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
