There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
