I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize