Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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