Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
