Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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