I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Your tits are I can't wait for
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
