he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
