Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
