Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
