we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
