maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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