Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
