So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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